We have no meet cute. It’s better that way, given the way of us. We picked up and dropped off in the same timeframe. It took us both awhile to hoist 2 and 4 and 6 and 8 year olds up and into the back seats of our electric bikes. Many days, we did it in tandem.
One day, early on in our getting-to-know each other, she lifted up her little one and asked me if I was on HRT. I hadn’t any idea what that was, and immediately, a blooming smile spread across my heart and I knew. I knew she was one of the ones. A singular woman who I could love unconditionally because she is so ... daisy-esque. Soon after that, I got on HRT and on my 41st birthday, the two fo us went to a perimenopause seminar hosted inside an old London theatre.
She also let me in on Self Esteem, the vocalist/songwriter and epic-queen-icon-angel-human. I got us tickets and we stood in the nosebleeds, dancing and singing and shouting and dripping. I’ll always remember how focused she was, plugged into that stage and singing her all yearning out. She only had eyes and heart for the performance. Locked in, as if we were amidst one the most important moments in history.
And that's what it always feels like to be around her, a witness to major historical and epic happenings.
I love her because of her heart. It's with Gaza. She protested with a sign around her neck and sat meditative until she was lifted by police and put into a jail cell for six hours. She's at the courthouses. She is in the tea rooms. She is on the calls. I've joined her on a few weekends. We took our kids and walked in solidarity and outrage alongside fellow humans and drummers and doctors.
This incredible woman holds much knowledge inside her on all sorts of subjects. I love her because she is effortlessly witty. She has a retort for it all and her wicks make my body shake with laughter and recognition. She is schooled on universal human truths and twists and turns it all into hilarious commentary that gets you thinking. I love her because she is frank and clear.
I urge you, if you get the chance, sit with her. Because when you enter her glow and focus, you are pulled into a warm passion and a nutty glowing party.
Her heart is held and inspired. Her vision of the world, one that she actively takes part in creating, is one where freedom and care and transparency reign.
She has made me the perfect cup of tea. She has rode me around in the back of her bike. She has invited me into the Annex and served me roast chicken and showed me where the wild garlic grows. She is extraordinary. She gets obessesed. She loves her children in a deep and earthy and straightfoward way. She plays the trumpet, which reminds me, I’ve never actually heard her play. She has an interior-design-eye that is straight out of well-paid magazine spreads. She knows how to sew curtains (which I do declare as the most badass skill). She adorns herself in the comfort of sweatshirts and sweatpants and the occasional jean for the occacional occasion. She liberates us, little by little.
I’ve only just jumped onto her orbit. My time here has been gloriously rich and wonderful and golden and active.
This woman shines. She is a warm sun and a bright star. She challenges. She is angry. She is joyous. She is a soft projector. She is a gentle protector. She can chat it up with anyone but she only lets a few into her heart.
She has grounded me in ways I never knew could exist for me. She has reminded me to live within my values by attraction and promotion. She will not be silenced and she is willing to sacrifice for that because she sees a big, wide, shining picture.
She points toward what connects me to humanity. I trust her. And she makes it easy to commit to friendship. Her back-and-forth baner brings my heart into alignment and my body into security. She knows how to be cozy. And she knows how to be uncomfortable. And she doesn't shy away from either of those states, in fact she makes ample room for both.
Watching fireworks while Superman soundtracks are playing at full blast, chatting about future landscapes and plans, diving into grief and trauma, exploring garden museums, laughing while our kids climb and kick and run, these are the dreamy connections that run deep and express themselves in a sweet, fierce, hilarious, honest, righteous, true blossom of connection. Oh, how I absolutely adore you, you nutter.
xx, D
This is a series entitled, "Love Letters" and it's dedicated to the women in my life who have impacted me in ordinary ways that feel quite extraordinary. It's my hope that my letters move each of them toward a deeper self knowing and be a catalyst to normalize sharing how much we love each other.
I was inspired to write this series because of a funeral. A friend was taken too soon and throughout the heavy hour in church, I knew Jane felt the outpouring of love but it made me sadder still that she may have missed it when she was among us. So, instead of waiting until the people we love are gone, please share who they are to you and why you love them so dearly, as I am choosing to do here and now.
